I had to make a visit to my doctor yesterday to get a mole removed from my dick.
From now on I'm going to stick to sheep.
My wife was angry. She said: "It's unfair! A guy can screw a different girl every week and he's considered a stud. But if a girl screws even two guys in a year she's called a slut."
So I man-splained it to her: "Think of it this way. If a key opens lots of locks it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys... well... it's a shitty lock."
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?
You at least take the trash out once a week.
What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Liquor in the front and poker in the rear!