I had to make a visit to my doctor yesterday to get a mole removed from my dick.
From now on I'm going to stick to sheep.
My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.
And that's when the fight started...
My wife wanted to be a little adventurous. She told me she was up for making a sex tape.
I said, "Great, we should hold auditions for your part."
Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.
The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."