Outpatient Surgery

I had to make a visit to my doctor yesterday to get a mole removed from my dick.

From now on I'm going to stick to sheep.

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

How do they say "fuck you" in Hollywood?

Trust me.

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.