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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Be Nice Or You Won't Get Any

Created: 29 January 2017
Hits: 2660

Little Johnny's walking along with his father when he sees a butterfly. He grabs it, throws it on the ground,and stomps on it. His father says, "Son, that was unnecessary violence. You may not have any butter for a month."

They walk a little further and Little Johnny sees a honey bee. He grabs it, throws it on the ground, and stomps on it. His father says, "Once again, son, unnecessary violence. You may not have any honey for a month."

That night, Little Johnny's having dinner with his mom and dad when a cockroach goes running across the table. His mother knocks it off the table and stomps on it. Little Johnny looks at his dad and says, "Well, Pop, are you gonna tell her, or should I?"

It's Party Time

Created: 27 January 2017
Hits: 3181

A man goes to a fancy costume party wearing only a glass jar on his dick. A woman asks, "So what are you?" He tells her, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar" she replies.

"Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob, and I'll come as fast as I can!"

Count On This Happening

Created: 26 January 2017
Hits: 2701

Little Johnny came home and told his mom he got kicked out of mathematics class. His mom asked "What happened."

Little Johnny told her: "The teacher asked me, 'What comes after 69?' Apparently 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Natural Viagra

Morris walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I've got a constant erection. At first it was fun, but then it became painful and embarrassing."

He takes down his pants, and his hardon is sticking straight out. The doctor looks at it for a minute, then whacks it with two fingers. A little bug jumps off, scurries away and just like that the hardon goes right down.

Morris says, "Gee, Doc, that's great. How much do I owe you?"

The doctor says, "Help me find that bug and you don't owe me a thing."

Go Both Ways

Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

Good Riddance

Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed.

His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!"

To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married for 40 years."

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