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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

Keep It In The Family

Created: 16 December 2016
Hits: 2714

A farmer bursts into the bedroom with his wife in bed and a sheep under his arm. He yells, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache!" The wife looks up and says, "That's not pig dumbass, it's a sheep!"

The farmer looks over and shouts: "Quiet! I wasn't talking to you!"

And that's when the fight started...

And When You Die...

Created: 13 December 2016
Hits: 2488

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

You Learn Something New Everyday

Created: 08 December 2016
Hits: 2624

I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"

I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Lie To Me!

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, they headed to her house for an afternoon of fun. Exhausted after screwin' around, they fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8pm.

As the man threw on his clothes, he told his mistress to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. Mystified, she did as he said and when she came back in he slipped them on and raced home.

At the front door his wife confronted him. "Where have you been?" she demanded. "Darling," he replied, "I cannot tell a lie. I've been having an affair with my secretary. We fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife looked down at his shoes and shouted, "Liar! You've been playing golf!"

I Can't Hear You

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Anything you want.

In The Doctor's Office

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to see a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounts his patient and starts having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”

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