And that's when the fight started...

FightStarted400X200

I'm just sayin... that's all.

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said: 'Do you want to have sex?

"'No!" she answered. Then I said: "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, and just said: "Yes."

So I said: "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

My wife was angry. She said: "It's unfair! A guy can screw a different girl every week and he's considered a stud. But if a girl screws even two guys in a year she's called a slut."

So I man-splained it to her: "Think of it this way. If a key opens lots of locks it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys... well... it's a shitty lock."

And that's when the fight started...

 

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...