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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

Knew It Wouldn't Work

Created: 04 September 2017
Hits: 2767

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Do That Again

Created: 30 August 2017
Hits: 3025

Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.

"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.

And that's when the fight started...

Get A Little Culture

Created: 17 August 2017
Hits: 2792

I took my wife to the art gallery. The 1st picture was a naked women with a small patch of leaves over her private parts. My wife didn't like it so she said: "Let's keep going."

When I didn't follow right away she turned and asked: "What are you waiting for?"

I told her: "Autumn."

And that's when the fight started...

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Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

Picture Perfect

I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.

She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."

And that's when the fight started...

Have You Upgraded To 4K?

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

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