And that's when the fight started...

FightStarted400X200

I'm just sayin... that's all.

: Created: 04 September 2017; Hits: 2765

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

: Created: 30 August 2017; Hits: 3023

Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.

"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.

And that's when the fight started...

: Created: 17 August 2017; Hits: 2790

I took my wife to the art gallery. The 1st picture was a naked women with a small patch of leaves over her private parts. My wife didn't like it so she said: "Let's keep going."

When I didn't follow right away she turned and asked: "What are you waiting for?"

I told her: "Autumn."

And that's when the fight started...

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A Real Woman

A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"

A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"

No Guarantees in the After Life

My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"

I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."

And that's when the fight started...

Politics Explained

Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it to you this way. I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny, well, let's consider her The Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it all makes sense to you."

So Little Johnny goes off to bed thinking about what his Dad has told him. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room to find his diapers are badly soiled. So Johnny goes to his parents’ room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He finally gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, Johnny says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand exactly what politics is."

"Good son, tell me in your own words what you've learned."

Little Johnny replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."