A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

Get A Little Culture

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I took my wife to the art gallery. The 1st picture was a naked women with a small patch of leaves over her private parts. My wife didn't like it so she said: "Let's keep going."

When I didn't follow right away she turned and asked: "What are you waiting for?"

I told her: "Autumn."

And that's when the fight started...

Just A Little Peak

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Mr. & Mrs. Johnson are at the bank when an armed robber bursts in. Realizing he forgot his mask, the robber makes everyone lie face down and warns them not to look at him or he'll shoot.

Sure enough one stupid customer sneaks a look, and BAM! the robber shoots him on the spot. The robber then asks if anyone else had seen his face.

Johnson, continuing to gaze intently at the floor, shouts out "I think my wife got a glimpse."

And that's when the fight started...

Her Most Affectionate Name

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I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"

I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Two Is Better Than One

Mark and Alex are hanging out at home one cold winter day. Alex asks his friend "It's fuckin' freezin' in here. Can you go upstairs and get me my fuckin' slippers?"

So Alex goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Mark's hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, "Your brother just sent me up her to have sex with both of you."

One of the sisters replies, "Yeah. Prove it!"

So Alex yells downstairs, "Hey Mark! Both of them?!"

Mark yells back, "Of course! What's the point of fuckin' one?!"

Better To Keep Your Mouth Shut

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they came upon some rabbit shit. The first boy asked his friend: "What's that?"

"'They're smart pills," his friend told him. "Eat one and it'll make you smarter." So the boy popped one in his mouth and said: "Yech. This tastes like shit."

"See," said his friend, "you're getting smarter already."

New Yorkers Are So Friendly

I was visiting New York City recently and had to ask for directions. I went over to a random guy on the street and asked for his help.

Right away he told me, "Sure, head down 42nd street and take a left at the corner of get a map and fuck you!"

Gee, New Yorkers are so friendly...