What do you call a 14-year old girl from W. Virginia who can run faster than her 4 older brothers?
A virgin.
If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?
A liquor license.
The blonde said: "I want French fries and a diet Coke."
The librarian looked at her and snapped: "This is a library!"
So the blonde leaned in and whispered: "Sorry ... I want French Fries and a diet Coke."
The teacher asked Little Johnny, "Why is your cat at school today Johnny?"
Johnny replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Johnny leaves for school!'"