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And that's when the fight started...

FightStarted400X200

I'm just sayin... that's all.

Sincerity Out Of A Can

Created: 10 July 2017
Hits: 2702

My buddy, at a party we threw, paid my wife a nice compliment.  He told her: "You're really a good-looking women. Honest, I really mean it... I've only had one beer."

As my wife smiled back to thank him I quickly added: "Imagine how good she'll look after you've had two!"

And that's whent the fight started...

A New Accessory

Created: 05 July 2017
Hits: 2750

My son gets behind the wheel of the car to take his first driving lesson. As mom gets in the passenger side he rolls down the window and asks: "Does this car have passenger side air bags?"

I said, "It does now."

And that's when the fight started...

Might As Well Take In A Round

Created: 30 June 2017
Hits: 2459

We were at the couples pregnancy preparation class. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe & was telling the men how to give the necessary support to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just make several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

Then she turned to the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."  The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Wanting to get into the swing of things I quickly raised my hand and asked the instructor, "Would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk ?"

And that's when the fight started...

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A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."

Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.

The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."

How Much Do You Want It?

An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to tie the knot. But before the wedding they sat down to have a long conversation about how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, sharing the chores, family and so on.

Finally the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of the intimate side of their relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked rather hopefully.

"Oh, I like to have it infrequently," his bride to be responded.

The old guy thought for a moment, then asked, "Was that one word or two?"

Read Him His Rights

A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him: "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

So he shouts back: "Tits"

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