How do you know when you are getting old?
When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
I told my wife: You know the trouble with most women? They get all excited over nothing!"
She said: "Yeah, I know what you mean, I married him."
And that's when the fight started...
Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?
100 people who don't do dick.
Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"
The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."
