How do you know when you are getting old?
When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
