How do you know when you are getting old?
When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"
"Not yet, sweetie."
Why are cowgirls like cow pies?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.
