What Are Fences For?

My neighbor looked over the fence and asked: "What are you doing?" I told her: "My goldfish died. I have to bury him."

"Why such a big hole?" she asked.

"'Cause he's inside your fucking cat."

Why are cowgirls like cow pies?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention.

The Jew, bragging about his virility said, "I have four sons, one more and I’ll have a basketball team!"

The Catholic pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That’s nothing, I have 10 sons, one more and I’ll have a football team."

To which the Mormon replied, "You guys don't have a clue. I have 17 wives, one more and I’ll have a golf course!"

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.