How come during sex it's OK to say, 'Who's your daddy?,' but it's not OK to say, 'I love you, mommy'?
Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."
He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"
And that's when the REAL fight started...
If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?
A liquor license.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breath through something that small?"
