Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."
Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"
How are blondes like computers?
You never appreciate them until they go down on you.
After dinner last night my wife looked at me with those eyes of hers and sweetly asked: "Honey, is it OK if we change positions tonight?" "Sure" I replied.
"Great" She said, "You do the dishes and I'll go sit on the couch and fart!"
And that's when the fight started...
Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
He changed his mind. Decided to stick it out for one more year!