Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."
Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"
What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
Forty-five pounds.
Baby seal walks into a bar.
Bartender says "What'll it be?"
Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."
A girl walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Give me a double entendre."
So he gave it to her.
