Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."
Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"
The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."
And that's when the fight started...
Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?
Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.
Two lawyers were leaving the office. "I can't wait to get home," says one. "As soon as I walk in the door I'm going to rip my wife's panties off."
"I know the feeling." his partner says.
"No, I'm serious," says the first guy. "They're killing me."
