Kung Pao Chicken

: Created: 22 March 2015; Hits: 3494

Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."

Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"

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I'd Love To But...

My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"

I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "

And that's when the fight started...

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Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?

There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.

Where Is The Nearest ATM?

A plumber, an electrician, and an accountant walk into a strip club.

The electrician calls a blonde over, licks a ten-dollar bill and slaps it on her ass. Then the plumber licks a fifty-dollar bill and he too slaps it on her ass.

The accountant takes out his ATM card, swipes it in the crack of her ass, reaches over and grabs the sixty bucks.