Every Frickin' Joke
They Don't Teach This In School
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2990
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he had ever been unfaithful to his wife and he says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."
Just Doesn't Measure Up
- Category: And that's when the fight started...
- Hits: 2573
My wife and I were on a road trip and I asked her to help navigate, So of course she couldn't quite figure out how to use the map. Frustrated I asked her, "Why can't women read maps?"
She snapped back, "Because only a man can relate to the concept of 1 inch equals a mile."
And that's when the fight started...
Three's A Crowd
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3693
Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.
The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"
Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"
And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"
Better Than An Apple Watch
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3182
A man calls his wife into the bedroom. "I want to show you the new watch I got today."
She walks in and finds him with his pants down. "That's not a watch!" she says.
"It will be once you put two hands and a face on it."
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