My dick is so big, it graduated High School a year ahead of me.
What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?
A wedding ring.
A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.
He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."
The doc says, "You're just not eating right."
Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.
The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.
