My dick is so big, it graduated High School a year ahead of me.
What is the difference between a New York City taxi and an elephant?
The elephant has the trunk in the front and the asshole in the back.
I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.
She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call hooker that likes it in the ass?
A crack whore.
