Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?
So she won't shit on the street during the parade.
A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"
A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"
What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.
I came home one evening and my wife was in the kitchen crying.
She told me she had baked me a pie and the dog ate it.
I told her: "Don't cry honey. I'll buy you another dog."
And that's when the fight started.