The Parade Route Is Safe

Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?

So she won't shit on the street during the parade.

I razzed my wife: "I shoulda never got married. Why buy the whole cow when I was gettin' the milk for free?"

She snapped back: "Yeah? Well I got stuck with the whole pig for just one little sausage."

And that's when the fight started...

Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"

A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."

Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."

Wife: "My husband said that?"

"No, all the landscapers."