The Parade Route Is Safe

Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?

So she won't shit on the street during the parade.

My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"

I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "

And that's when the fight started...

Man talks dirty to a woman? That's sexual harassment.

Woman talks dirty to a man? That's $1.99 a minute.

Why are women like a storm door?

The more you bang 'em ... the looser they get.

And once that happens ... not even a longer screw can fix it.