Why did God create Adam before he created Eve?
Because He didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
My wife was lying in bed a little dissatisfied with my performance when she asked: "What do my clitoris, our anniversary, and the fuckin' toilet have in common?" I said "You got me."
She said: "You miss them all."
And that's when the fight started...
What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
My wife was amazed to read about a farmer who claimed he sold a cow with a pussy like a woman for $10,000.
I told her: "That's not amazing, that's irony. Here I am with you... a pussy like a cow, and you ain't worth shit."