How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
He's smoking a cigarette.
I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?
Wow! We do taste just like chicken!
What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.