How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
He's smoking a cigarette.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, if nothing else, you've got to hand it to her.
What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"
