What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
Why are cowgirls like cow pies?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
After dinner last night my wife looked at me with those eyes of hers and sweetly asked: "Honey, is it OK if we change positions tonight?" "Sure" I replied.
"Great" She said, "You do the dishes and I'll go sit on the couch and fart!"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
