I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."
A doctor is meeting with a husband after examining his wife. The doctor tells him: "Your wife's diagnosis is uncertain. She either has Aids or she has Alzheimers."
The husband asks: "What should I do, doc?"
The doctor advises him: "Drive her five miles outside of town and drop her off. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
