What night is it?

What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?

You at least take the trash out once a week.

My girlfriend's a real clean freak. She says it's disgusting to piss in the bathtub.

Next time maybe I should wait until she gets out.

What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

Another lawyer.

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.