What night is it?

What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?

You at least take the trash out once a week.

How to have rodeo sex: Flip her over on all fours, start bangin' her doggie style, call her by her sister's name, and try to hang on for 8 seconds.

What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?

She just kinda lays there.

Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

An ironing board's legs are hard to open.