What night is it?

What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?

You at least take the trash out once a week.

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"

Why do women wear black underwear?

They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?

Husband: "Yeah why?"

"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"