What night is it?

What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?

You at least take the trash out once a week.

Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?

Who cares!

My wife and I were sitting at breakfast having bacon and eggs. I told her: Darling, you're just like bacon... you look, smell and taste fantastic!"

Thanks she said... before I added: "And your both killing me slowly."

And that's when the fight started...

What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?

I can't see a thing with all this shit in here!