Beggars Can't Be Choosers

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...

How are blondes like computers?

You never appreciate them until they go down on you.

Grandpa always told me don’t watch your money watch your health. So one day, while I'm watching my health, someone stole my money.

It was grandpa.