Beggars Can't Be Choosers

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

What's the difference between love and herpes?

Love doesn't last forever.

A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!

"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.

The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.