What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
(uhhhh....Yeah, I have the same feeling you are having! :-O)
Why can't lesbians adopt a child?
Because they don't serve minors to lickers.
Here at Dick Joke of the Day we are thinking about selling our own brand of T-Shirts.
They'll read: "LIFE'S A DICK. WHEN IT GETS HARD, FUCK IT!"