What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip-off!
A guy's in his car with a girl and says, "How about a hand job?"
She says, "What do I have to do?"
He says, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it? Just do that."
She grabs it and does it. A few minutes later, he starts screaming. She says, "What's wrong?"
He says, "Take your fucking thumb off the end."
I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
Why'd my wife cross the road?To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.