What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber.
When's it okay to spit in an Italian girl's face?
When her moustache is on fire.
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.
I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And that's when the fight started...
A guy stops in to the drugstore with his wife to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.
"No", the guy says, "she's not that ugly!"
