After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.
If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.
A midget whips out his two-foot dick.
The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."
"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."
Keep this in mind... a honeymoon should only be for six days. Why? Because seven days make a whole week.
In fact, don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a weak end.
Just sayin'...
My girlfriend's a real clean freak. She says it's disgusting to piss in the bathtub.
Next time maybe I should wait until she gets out.
