What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A power failure.
I was in bed with this chick last night. She turned to me and whispered in a low, sexy voice: "I want tonight to be magical"
So I fucked her and disappeared.
A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.
The guy says, "Fuck...it works."
I have a a real problem with sex and booze...
Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.
