What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A power failure.
Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.
Mom: Every day more like your dad.
I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"
I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."
And that's when the fight started...
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
