What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A power failure.
A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"
His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."
Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"
His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"
"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."
A female officer arrests a drunk. As she puts the cuffs on him she warns: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
Before she can finish the drunk shouts out: "Boobs"
What is the difference between a New York City taxi and an elephant?
The elephant has the trunk in the front and the asshole in the back.
