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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

The Four Seasons

Created: 08 May 2015
Hits: 3872

A college kid is fucking an old lady. She says, "It may be Winter on top, but it's Summer in the furnace."

He says, "Yeah? Well, if you don't put a little Spring in your ass, we're gonna be here till Fall."

Best Type Of Birth Control

Created: 07 May 2015
Hits: 2915

What's a birth control pill?

That's the other thing a girl can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.

Please Don't Disturb The Peace

Created: 05 May 2015
Hits: 2915

A guy goes in to see an optometrist.

The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."

The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Harder They Suck...

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.

Who Likes Bananas?

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

Normal Reaction

I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?

Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"

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