What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?
A tearjerker.
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
What... you didn't see that coming?
How do you know who gives a good blow job?
Word of mouth.
A guy pulls up to a little girl playing on the sidewalk and says, "Hey, little girl, want a lollipop?"
The girls says "My mommy told me not to take candy from strangers. But if you give me twenty bucks, I'll suck your dick."
