If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"
I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife kinda had second thoughts about the first sex video I had talked her into making, so she said she wanted it back.
I said, "OK, but you'll have to pay twenty bucks, just like everybody else."