I wish I had parents like Dora.
They let that little bitch go everywhere.
What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?
Focused.
How do you confuse a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.
Two old ladies are sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly the first one says to her friend: "Did you just fart?"
Her friend answers: "Of course I did. You think I always smell like this?"
