I wish I had parents like Dora.
They let that little bitch go everywhere.
A cop pulls a guy over and gives him the breathalyzer test.
The cop is so shocked he says: "Jesus man... you are REALLY drunk."
The guy looks up and says; "Thank God. I thought my steering went out."
Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.
As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.
My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.
And that's when the fight started...
