I wish I had parents like Dora.
They let that little bitch go everywhere.
Difference between a friend & a real friend?
A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.
I came home one evening and my wife was in the kitchen crying.
She told me she had baked me a pie and the dog ate it.
I told her: "Don't cry honey. I'll buy you another dog."
And that's when the fight started.
Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?
Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?
