A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Good News Or Bad News

Hits: 2007

A stockbroker calls a client and says, "Sam, I have good news and bad news."

Sam says, "Tell me the bad news first."

The stockbroker says, "I lost all of your money."

Sam says, "What's the good news?"

The stockbroker says, "I got laid last night."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Education Pays

A blonde psych major worked her way thru college as a prostitute.

For 50 bucks she screws with your mind.

I'm A Little Hungry

An old guy and his wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The old gal tells her husband: "Go in the kitchen and get me some ice cream." So the old guy gets up and shuffles off to bring his sweetie a treat. By the time he gets to the kitchen he totally forgets what he's there for. So he opens the fridge, looks around and finally grabs some eggs and bacon. He whips up a quick batch of bacon and eggs and heads back to the den.

When he walks in carrying the plate his wife looks up with a scowl and barks: "You forgot the toast!"

Don't Drink And Drive

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.