Why is a pussy like the weather?
Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.
A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."
"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"
A good-looking teenage girl went out fishing with six older guys.
She came home with a red snapper.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"
And that's when the fight started...
