A Polish guy didn't know the difference between incest & arson.
He set his sister on fire.
It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.
If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
The other day my wife asked me to talk to her like she was special.
So I said, "Gooooo ... maaaaake ... meeeee ... aaaaa ... cuuuuup ... offfff ... coffeeeee"
And that's when the fight started...
