A Polish guy didn't know the difference between incest & arson.
He set his sister on fire.
Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."
"So... what's the problem?"
"I don't get up until 9."
What do you call a virgin on a water bed?
A cherry float.
