What's the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?
Spit, swallow, and gargle
Husband says to his wife, "Here's 2 aspirin & a glass of water for your headache."
"I don't have a headache." His wife tells him
"Good. Now strip. We're fucking."
"By the Thanksgiving meal eveyone goes around the table saying what they are most thankful for, you know what I say?
I'm thankful I didn't get caught!"
What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
Full.
