We Do It Every Year

Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.

As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...

A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?

A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."

The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"