We Do It Every Year

Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.

As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.

Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.

My wife and I were discussing the news. I said: "What's the big deal about same-sex marriage?"

She said: "You're right. We've been married for years, and we keep having the same lousy sex."

And that's when the fight started...

Why does a dog lick himself?

He can't make a fist.