We Do It Every Year

: Created: 25 December 2016; Hits: 2307

Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.

As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Some Good Advice Girls

When would you want a man's company?

When he owns it.

Is It Because I'm Blonde?

A blonde girl comes home from school one day and tells her mom: "We were learning our numbers today and everyone else could only count to 5, but I could count to 10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

Her mom tells her "Great job honey!" The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom tells her: "Yes it is."

The next day the blonde girl comes home from school and tells her mom: "We were learning our alphabets today and everyone else could only get to E, but I got to J. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J!"

Her mom tells her "Great job honey!" The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom tells her again: "Yes it is."

On the third day the blonde girl comes home from school and tells her mom: "Today we were in the showers after gym class and all of the other girls were flat chested, but I have these!" Whereupon the girl lifts her shirt revealing very large breasts.

Her mom tells her "Um... Great job honey." The girl asks her mom: "Is it because I'm blonde?"

Her mom replies "No dear, it's because you're 25."

Cure For Constipation

A nun walks into a liquor store and says, "Give me a pint of brandy." The guy says, "Sister, I've never sold alcohol to a nun." She says, "It's for the Mother Superior, she's constipated."

So he sells it to her. Later that night, he walks out, and there's the nun on the stoop, with the empty bottle, drunk as a skunk, singing and laughing. He says, "Sister, for shame. You told me the bottle was for the Mother Superior's constipation."

The nun says, "It is. She's constipated, and when she sees me, she's gonna shit."