What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?
A Willie Nelson.
What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!
I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"
I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."
And that's when the fight started...
