What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?
She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."
And that's when the fight started...
It was our anniversary and I was reminiscing with my wife. She asked if I could remember way back when.
I told her: "You know honey, I can remember where we got married and I can remember when we got married... I just can’t remember why."
And that's when the fight started.
What should you do if your clothes are on fire?
Don't put 'em on.
