What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons when a guy in a raincoat walks up and flashes them.
Two of them had a stroke. The third one's arms were too short.
What do you call hooker that likes it in the ass?
A crack whore.
The day before Valentine's day I was looking for the perfect card for my wife when I saw something strange.
On the front of one of the cards it said, "I love you and only you."
By itself it may not sound strange, but this was a package of 20 cards.
