What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.
Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"
The bell rings at a whorehouse.
The madam answers the door and finds a guy with no arms and no legs. She looks at him and says: "What'ya think you're gonna do in here?"
He says: "Hey... I rang the bell, didn't I?"