What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."
And that's when the fight started...
Want to see flying saucers?
Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.
