In the Family

The difference between a redneck & poor white trash? Redneck knocks his sister up, white trash marries her.

Women are like guns.

Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.