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In the Family

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The difference between a redneck & poor white trash? Redneck knocks his sister up, white trash marries her.

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Who I'm Voting For

Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:

"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."

Where To Get A Cheap Beer

Guy walks in to a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says that'll be five bucks.

The guy is outraged. "Five bucks?" he says, "Why down the street the bar only charges a buck. And with every drink you get a lottery ticket to win free sex in the back."

The bartender looks at him and asks: "Did you ever win?" The guy says: "No... but my wife won three times."

Who'd You Call An Asshole?

A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."