In the Family

The difference between a redneck & poor white trash? Redneck knocks his sister up, white trash marries her.

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.

It's the spring, and the baby bear comes out of his cave. His knees are wobbling, he's a wreck. He's skin and bones, with big circles under his eyes.

His mother says, "Junior! Did you hibernate all winter like you were supposed to?"

He says, "Hibernate? Shit! I thought you said masturbate!"

Two old ladies are sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly the first one says to her friend: "Did you just fart?"

Her friend answers: "Of course I did. You think I always smell like this?"