How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?
She locks the doors on her pickup truck.
A female officer arrests a drunk. As she puts the cuffs on him she warns: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
Before she can finish the drunk shouts out: "Boobs"
Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.
The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?
Husband: "Yeah why?"
"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"
