How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?
She locks the doors on her pickup truck.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
What about a deer with no eyes & no legs?
Still no idea.
And a deer with no eyes, no legs & no dick?
Still no fuckin' idea.
What do a wife & a condom have in common?
They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"
And that's when the fight started...
