What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's dick.
What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A Klondike Bar.
My wife was on the rag and I just couldn't take any more of her bitchin'. So I asked: "What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?"
Then before she could answer I told her: "You can negotiate with a terrorist."
And that's when the fight started...
What is the only game in which the more you lose, the more you have to show for it?
Strip Poker.