What do you get when you sleep with a judge?
An honorable discharge.
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
And that's when the fight started...
What's the best part of gardening?
Getting down and dirty with my hoes.
I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.
