What do you get when you sleep with a judge?
An honorable discharge.
What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
As soon as you see it coming you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?
You start getting clothes for Christmas.
The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
