What do you get when you sleep with a judge?
An honorable discharge.
A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"
"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.
Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)