What do you get when you sleep with a judge?
An honorable discharge.
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
What... you didn't see that coming?
I had to make a visit to my doctor yesterday to get a mole removed from my dick.
From now on I'm going to stick to sheep.
Baby seal walks into a bar.
Bartender says "What'll it be?"
Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."
