What do cheerleaders say after sex?
"Thanks, guys!".
When's it okay to spit in an Italian girl's face?
When her moustache is on fire.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.
A woman at the Pearly Gates asks St. Peter, "Is my husband here? My name is Johnson." St. Peter says, "Well, that's not enough information."
She says, "OK... his name is Dick Johnson and he told me that after he died, if I was ever unfaithful, he'd roll over in his grave."
St. Peter says, "Oh .. you mean Pinwheel Johnson!"
