More Than He Bargained For

Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"

A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."

My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"

I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."

And that's when the fight started...

Why did the chicken fall into the well?

He didn't see that well.

Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.

So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."