Why does a dog lick himself?
He can't make a fist.
What did the guy say to his dick when he saw the girl he was about to fuck had genital warts?
"Hang on, boy! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"
The difference between a redneck & poor white trash? Redneck knocks his sister up, white trash marries her.
A woman visits the doctor, with bumps and bruises all over her body. She complains that it was her husband who beat her.
The doctor is surprised: "I thought your husband was out of town."
"So did I..."