A kid comes home from school and tells his mom, "I've got a problem.at school. Little Johnny keeps using two words I don't understand - pussy and bitch".
Mom says "Oh, that's no big deal. Pussy is a little cat like our Fluffy, and bitch is a female dog, like our Queenie."
He says thanks, but decides he better check with his dad. He heads to the workshop in the basement where he tells his dad, "Little Johnny at school is using words I don't know. I asked mom but I don't think she told me the real meaning."
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to your mom with stuff like that. She just doesn't get it. What are the words?" The boy tells him. "Pussy and bitch."
Dad thinks for a minute and says "OK" let me show you. He pulls out an old Playboy magazine from the bottom drawer, grabs a marking pen and opens to the centerfold. Then he circles the pubic area, points and says, "Son, everything inside that circle is pussy."
I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.
She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."
