Why does a dog lick himself?
He can't make a fist.
I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.
My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.
I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"
And that's when the fight started...
Why are dicks like fish?
You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.
