It's a really hot day, and a penguin takes his car to a mechanic. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there, he climbs inside the big freezer to sit and eat his ice cream. An hour goes by when the penguin looks at his watch, jumps out of the freezer and races back to the mechanic.
With ice cream all over his face and his stomach, he asks, "So how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, I was just eating ice cream."
A blonde is tired of all the dumb blonde jokes, so she dies her hair black. Then one day she drives past a farm and sees a farmer with his flock of sheep. She stops and says to the farmer, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, will you let me have one?"
The farmer says, "Sure". She says, "112." The farmer says, "That's incredible. You're exactly right."
As the girl reaches for her prize and is putting it in her back seat, the farmer says, "Hey...if I can guess what color your hair used to be, can I have my dog back?"