What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...
Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"
The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."