Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, if nothing else, you've got to hand it to her.
A man and his wife are setting up the password on their new computer. The man trying to be clever types in "MyPenis", the computer denies it.
His wife says, "I told you it wasn't long enough!"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you say to a man with five penises?
"Your jeans fit like a glove."
My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"