A brunette, a blonde & a redhead are all in 5th grade. Who has the biggest tits?
The blonde... she's 18!
Why can't a woman ever be satisfied?
Because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that shoots money.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You already told her twice.
One night my wife tried to get a rise out of me and make me jealous. She asked: "Honey, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
I told her: "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
And that's when the fight started...