A brunette, a blonde & a redhead are all in 5th grade. Who has the biggest tits?
The blonde... she's 18!
Why can't a woman ever be satisfied?
Because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that shoots money.
Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.
The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."
The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."
The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.