One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."
The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."
At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."
A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"
There once was a farmer who had three daughters. All three were going on a date on the same night, so he decided to meet their dates at the front door with a shotgun, just to let them know he was protective.
The first boy showed up and said "Hi, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're going to a show. Is she ready to go?" The farmer approved and sent them on their way.
Then the second boy arrived and he said "Hi, my name is Freddie, I'm here for Betty. We're going for spaghetti. Is she ready?" The farmer approved and sent them on their way as well.
Finally, the third boy arrived and he said "Hi my name is Chuck, ..." And the farmer shot him.
