The only thing wrong with sex on television is that you could fall off.
I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."
She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"
And that's when the fight started...
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."
A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.
The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.
The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."
