The only thing wrong with sex on television is that you could fall off.
What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"
I told her: "Both of them."
And that's when the fight started...
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
