I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.
"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."
And that's when the fight started...
Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest & a pilot are in a plane that's about to crash.
The pilot says: "Well, we only have three parachutes, let's give them to the three Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them."
The lawyer says: "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
The priest says: "Do we have time?"
How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?
She locks the doors on her pickup truck.
Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
