I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.
"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."
And that's when the fight started...
My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.
Little schoolgirl asks her mom: "Is it true that babies come out where boys put their wieners in?" "Yes, honey." her mom assures her.
"Won't that knock my teeth out?"
