Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.
My buddy, at a party we threw, paid my wife a nice compliment. He told her: "You're really a good-looking women. Honest, I really mean it... I've only had one beer."
As my wife smiled back to thank him I quickly added: "Imagine how good she'll look after you've had two!"
