I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.
"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."
I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."
Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.
One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."
The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"
