I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.
"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."
And that's when the fight started...
What do a wife & a condom have in common?
They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin........and tonic. Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"
When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.
Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.
