I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.
"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."
And that's when the fight started...
I thought I would kid my wife a little, so I said: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, it's too long."
She shot back: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"
"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."
