I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.
"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between sin and shame?
It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
Old Dick Johnson sometimes has to re-think relationships.
Right now I think I'm spending way too much time with my girlfriend's family... I think her husband is getting suspicious.
