A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in the shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."
A congregation honors a rabbi for twenty-five years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all-expenses paid. When he walks into his room, there's a nude girl lying on the bed.
He immediately picks up the phone, calls his temple, and says, "Where is your respect? As your rabbi, I am very, very angry with you."
The girl gets up to leave and starts to get dressed when the rabbi stops her and says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."