Ol' Grandpa At It Again

Last Christmas grandpa surprised eveyone and made snow angels.

He skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?

A Klondike Bar.

Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:

"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."