Why do brides wear white?
The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.
Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.
Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
The phone rings and Mrs. Johnson answers. A voice breathing heavily on the other end says, "I bet you have a tight asshole with no hair."
She replies, "Yeah, he's watching TV. Who should I say is calling?"
