Why do brides wear white?
The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.
After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.
If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.
What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?
Lettuce alone with no dressing.
My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.
