Why do brides wear white?
The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.
If Gin makes you grin and Whiskey makes you frisky, what makes you pregnant?
Two highballs and a squirt.
What did the Jewish guy and his Chinese wife name their baby boy?
Ka Ching!
I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
I said: "Yeah, but I do."
And that's when the fight started...