Why do brides wear white?
The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.
Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?
Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?
Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the shit out of their dogs!
After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.
If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.
