How is Santa Claus like a smart blonde?
They both don't exist!
The phone rings and Mrs. Johnson answers. A voice breathing heavily on the other end says, "I bet you have a tight asshole with no hair."
She replies, "Yeah, he's watching TV. Who should I say is calling?"
My wife was fishing for a compliment. So she asked me: "So, do you think you married Miss Right."
I said: "Yeah, I just didn't know your first name was 'Always.'"
And that's when the fight started...
My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"
I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."
