How is Santa Claus like a smart blonde?
They both don't exist!
My wife was amazed to read about a farmer who claimed he sold a cow with a pussy like a woman for $10,000.
I told her: "That's not amazing, that's irony. Here I am with you... a pussy like a cow, and you ain't worth shit."
And that's when the fight started...
Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Why is psychoanalysis faster for men than women?
When he has to go back to his childhood he's already there.