How is Santa Claus like a smart blonde?
They both don't exist!
One night I came home a little late and very drunk. There was my wife standing there holding a broom
Thinking fast (maybe too fast) I said: "Are you still cleaning or are you going for a ride?"
And that's when the fight started...
10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.
9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.
8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.
7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.
6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.
5. They give you the day off WITH pay to have dinner.
4. Thanksgiving dinner is a "sure" thing.
3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!
2. You're expected to fall asleep after dinner.
And the number 1 reason why Thanksgiving dinner is better than sex:
1. You are EXPECTED to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.
"Mom I tied the knot."
"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."