Jack and his buddies were hanging out, planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, Jack had to tell them that he couldn't make it because his wife wouldn't let him go. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Jack headed home frustrated and depressed.
The following week when all the guys arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Jack sitting in his camp chair next to a roaring campfire with a cold beer in his hand. "How did you talk your wife into letting you come?" the guys asked.
"I didn't have to," Jack replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I came home, grabbed a beer, and slumped down in the couch ready to drown my sorrows knowing I couldn't go fishing with you guys. Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me, covered my eyes and yelled, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back and spun around, there she was standing in front of me in a beautiful see through negligee. In a low voice she whispered, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' And so... here I am!"
Farmer Brown has a group over to play poker. But little Johnny keeps running around the table, yelling out what cards everybody has. No matter what the farmer orders his kid to do, he keeps coming back and wrecking the game. Finally,one of the players says, "This ain't working. Let's get outta here."
Reverend Grayson says, "Hold on a minute," and leads little Johnny out of the room. A few minutes later he returns and then nothing... they never see the kid again. Farmer Brown asks, "Rev, what the heck'd you do to little Johnny?"
The Reverend answers, "I showed him how to jerk off."
