HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
Three guys are in a bar discussing which joint in town has the best deal on drinks.
The first guy boasts, "There's a bar on the South Side where the bartender will set up a free drink for every one you buy."
The next guy says, "That's nothing! Over on the West Side there's a bar where the bartender will pour you a double shot free for every one you buy."
The last guy is totally unimpressed and says, "That's nothing. There's a place somewhere on the North Side where the owner buys you drinks all night. Then when the bar closes, he takes you into a back room with a cot makes love to you all night."
The first two guys are shocked but a little skeptical, so they ask if he's actually been there. "Nope," the guys says, "But my sister told me all about it."
A guy goes to see his doctor. In the exam room the doctor asks, "What brings you here today?" The guy says, "Before I show you, you have to promise not to laugh." The doctor nods, and the guys pulls down his pants and reveals an incredibly small penis.
Holding back laughter, the doctor manages to ask, "What exactly is the problem?"
The guy tells him, "Can't you see doc... it's swollen."
