Honeymoon morning after. Wife: "You're a lousy lover."
Husband: "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"
Why does it hurt so much to fuck a chef?
He'll stick a fork in you to see if you're done.
Last Christmas grandpa surprised eveyone and made snow angels.
He skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.
Why was the nearsighted fly starving?
He couldn't see shit.